People in this country are so squeamish. I swear, half the things that make people uncomfortable here are purely a result of a wasteful lifestyle. In my home country, we respect all things that are good to eat, including insects and possums. Our possums are twice as large, however, and very vicious. Before my village was modernised with running water and internet, it used to be a rite of passage for the boys to go out into the forest and hunt the possum. Bringing one back meant great glory, the recognition of manhood and meat for a week! Now all the youngsters just bring up an app that means they can order deep-fried possum from a nearby village at the touch of a button. And have it delivered!
At least some of us are trying to keep the old ways alive, although truth be told, I think I’m starting to irritate the pest control companies in Dandenong and beyond. Termites were an important part of my diet, growing up. They’re filled with protein, and taste a bit like roasted almonds. It’s part of our tradition! I’ve made my peace with the fact that people here just want them out of their homes, but is it so terrible for someone like to me to respect the old traditions and…scoop some off the top, as it were? It’s not like the people with termite troubles were going to DO anything with them.
Perhaps I’m trying too hard to keep the old ways alive. I don’t even live in Albajeria any more, to be fair. I live in a country where insects and termites are quickly removed from a home, instead of caught and eaten. And it really does make the ladies at my bowls group uncomfortable when I bring it up. At least we won’t have a repeat of the 2011 Christmas party incident. They said bring a plate. I fried up a bowl full of my famous, crunchy spider and ant niblets. It didn’t go down well.
Oh, alright. I’ll let these Dandenong termite control experts do their jobs. But if I see a pest in my home…I’m claiming it for me. Not all the old ways are quite so bad.
-Aarii
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